The YPSI I SEE [AKA The Good Life East of 23]

YPSI REVISITED    This Winter, in large part thanks to Wurst Bar, I found myself visiting Ypsi on an abnormally frequent cadence. I found that much had changed since I called 48197 home. I started making time to seek out newer places I had only heard about. Don’t believe the naysayers, there’s a lot to see and do in Ypsi. I thought it was high time for A2GastroBoy to pay it forward and draft my version of a travel guide.

YPSI CONTEXT  [AKA - UNCLE GASTROBOY’S SOAP BOX]    Before I get into the details of local interest, let me ramble-on about the general condition of Ypsi. As I see it, Ypsi gets a bum rap.  Yes, it has some warts, but few Midwest towns as old as Ypsi have survived the post-industrial era without a few warts. In my opinion, there are three primary issues that make Ypsi’s warts unique – one fiscal, one geographic and one superficial.

FISCAL:  Here’s an often overlooked fact...Ypsi is tiny. The majority of land folks consider Ypsi is actually Ypsilanti TOWNSHIP not CITY. As a result Ypsi’s tax coffers are extremely limited.  At the same time, Ypsi is an established community – meaning residents expect rich services consistent with living in legacy urban centers. Adding insult to injury, the infrastructure is aged, requiring higher cost per captia to operate and maintain. Mix in a highly transient student population that creates additional expense without generating tax revenue and you’ve got a hard city to finance.

• SOLVE: I Applaud Ypsi and Willow Run school districts for agreeing to merge…not that they had many practical options. I would love to see more consolidation with the region. I know the debates and would like to publically announce my support of regional authorities for all public services. No, I’m not a socialist, just a fiscally practical.

GEOGRAPHIC:  People occupy three spaces…space to live, space to work and space to play. When all three overlap you get magic – community. When you don’t have overlap you get Ypsi. Isolated pods of land that lack human traffic.  There are two physical landmarks that imped Ypsi’s social-critical mass…The River and Déjà Vu. I love the River. I also love Riverside Park. Unfortunately the size of this park makes it too darn far  (and at night unsafe) for lazy American’s to walk from Downtown to Depot Town. An equally lame distance separates Campus from downtown. Without foot traffic no single area will establish critical mass. As for Déjà vu...Thanks to Beezy for braving the block. Unfortunately few other respectable businesses would choose to locate next to the vu. It creates a black hole in one of the most promising blocks of downtown.

• SOLVE: The River Street Development – At one point early in the River Street project I was sold on the idea that this would create a new downtown. Proximity to Depot Town and Prospect Park would draw foot traffic while simultaneously connecting both areas with downtown. It’s a brilliant dream. I pray the near bankrupt city doesn’t compromise and accept a short-term revenue generator that falls short on that long-term objective.  

SUPERFICIAL: Proximity, AKA the inherent comparison syndrome of Twin Cities. Here’s my final stand dedicated to all of the elitist fucks in Ann Arbor who refuse to acknowledge life east of US23…Consider Minneapolis and St. Paul, Manhattan and Brooklyn, San Francisco and Oakland, Royal Oak and Ferndale, Eli and Payton. In each situation you have an underdog little-brother, forever over-shadowed by their larger, more affluent neighbor. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying Ypsi would be Pleasantville if it stood alone. Not at all. The paradox of twin cities is that they need each other. Ypsi is the low rent district. That doesn’t make it bad. It makes it affordable.  Affordable fosters development and creativity. Would Beezy’s be in Ypsilanti if Beezy could’ve afforded an Ann Arbor lease? Would the Dreamland Theater exist if it weren’t for folks from Ann Arbor driving in? Maybe. Likely Not. Stop making comparisons. We don’t need another Ann Arbor. We need to appreciate the value of diversity.

• SOLVE: Rebrand the City. I know it sounds ridiculous – but who really likes the name Ypsilanti? Leave it for the township. Just don’t choose a bullshit name like say, Xfinity. 

 OK – I’ve scratched that itch. I will step off the soapbox. Now for the reason you’re still reading…

EAT & DRINK

Beezy’s Café    Have you ever been to Roast & Toast in Petoskey? It’s an institution, part coffee shop, part deli, entirely “townie food.” That’s where Beezy cut her teeth before moving to Ann Arbor and working for the Zing folk. Now running her own place Beezy’s taken the best of both worlds, Roast & Toast Charm with a menu groomed by Zing. I’m genuinely jealous of a friend who works in downtown Ypsi as he get’s to make Beezy’s a regular lunchtime stop. As a marketer, I also respect Beezy’s use of ‘the Twitter. Bravo.

• Eat This: While the name Chicksilanti would make anyone want to order chicken salad, save it for the second visit and start with the Bacon Popper, Roasted jalapeno cream cheese, 4 strips of bacon, lettuce, tomato and sliced red onion on a toasted bagel. Epic.

Ugly Mug Café and Roastery     Perhaps you’ve read my piece on coffee (click here to read). If not, understand that there’s a new breed of small batch roasters redefining quality and the fine folks at the Ugly Mug have been leading the movement since 2004. The café itself is a kitchy version of bohemia meets gas station. Proximity to campus adds an interesting mix of patrons to a space that would otherwise be over-run with hipsters if it were in say, Corktown.

• Extra credit points: Recently Ugly Mug’s been selling 40^th Anniversary WCBN blend. Nicely done.

Corner Brewery    Confessional time… I’ve never said it out lod, but I don’t enjoy the space at Arbor Brewing Company. The beer is wonderful, the people righteous, but that angular bar jetting into the entryway? Awkward. Corner Brewery is an entirely different beast. Where as ABC makes we want to drink and run, CB makes me want to set up camp and stay for the season. I won’t waste words on the beer other than to say they consistently win praise. The true charm of this place isn’t the beer but rather the space, which happens to incude the area’s best outdoor bier garden.  If you’re looking for a meal understand that there’s no kitchen. No worries – CB encourages folks to deliver-in or BYOF. 

UPDATE: I stand corrected - CB DOES in fact have a kitchen and limited menu. Go Gref Power!

Sidetracks / Frenchies    If you follow Depot Town history you’d know that Side Tracks was one of the first businesses to brave Depot Town.  The oldest part of town, it had become abandoned and overrun with bikers. Linda French opened in 1980. Ever since Linda and the staff have been building a reputation for great burgers, cold beer and salty language ever since (Old Town take note!). Speaking of burgers, have you heard the maxim, “Press builds Press?” In the case of Sidetracks their burgers have become such legend that soon kids will be telling stories about Paul Revere riding to Depot Town. Is the hype overboard? Probably. Good for Sidetracks.

•  Also Noteworthy: The side patio rivals Corner Brewery for best outdoor beer spot in town. 

The Wurst Bar     Speaking of hype – perhaps you’ve read something about the WURST lately. Everyone within 50 miles has written about the second newest place in town…including this hack (click here). The Wurst Bar endeavors to being life back to the Eastern stretch of Cross Street No small feat. 

Red Stone Rock BBQ    The title of newest place in town officially goes to Red Stone Rock BBQ. And yes, A2GastroBoy has visited. Now understand, when the only competition is BW3 and HAABs, you don’t have to try that hard. That said, Red Stone shows true promise. See for yourself.

HAABs     In my fantasy world, HAABs is like Knights Steakhouse. In reality it’s more like the Knights of Columbus. In either case, it’s older than you and I combined and had a AAA tour guide rating since the days when that meant something. If for no other reason than nostalgia, you need to visits HAABs at least once.

Photo by Sheila PalkoskiSEE & DO    If you make the time to drive all the way to Ypsi you may as make the most of your time. Here’s a few gems worth seeking out.

The Water Tower (@ypsitower)     OK – so everyone knows the tower. But did you know the tower has a twitter account? I follow 1,025 accounts on Twitter. This is one of my favorites.  Enjoy.

Mix Marketplace     Imagine Etsy in person. That’s Mix Market. Open two days a week just down from Beezy’s, it’s creating a reason for folks to stroll the streets.

UPDATE: Mix Market has ceased to operate. However - it's legacy is that Bona Serra, one of hte food purveyors, will open up a permaent cafe within the Mix Space. WIN. 

Ypsilanti Automotive Heritage Museum     Honestly – how long have you sat at Sidetracks and wondered what that vintage car place across the tracks is all about? For me, seventeen years. This winter I finally went inside. They have a Tucker! How cool is that. For parents, you’ll win big points by taking the kidlets to see the Hudson Hornet, AKA Doc from the Pixar movie Cars. Yes – the REAL CAR! Cool, huh?

Woodruffs     Here’s a little trivia I learned on Wikipedia…Woodruff was the name used when the city now known as Ypsilanti was originally platted. Interesting, right? It’s also the names given to Ypsi’s newer-est music venue – and its in Depot Town. Cool, huh? Yes.

Frog Island & Riverside Park Festivals     The spring and summer are full of activity in the parks. It’s a great excuse to get out and visit Ypsi. There’s a high propensity to the automotive, a nod to Ypsi’s connection to Willow Run. Here’s a few of my favorite….Vintage Volkswagen Car Show, Elvis Fest, Michigan Summer Beer festival, Annual Orphan Car Show, Antique Truck Show. 

What'd I miss? KNow something cool about Ypsi? Click comment below and say so. 

SPRING BREAK

It happens to the best of us...LIFE. Last night GastroBoy sat huddled in a corner crying because his writing time has been consumed by superficial distractions (parenting, employment, in-flight sudoku, yada, yada, yada).

I know you miss me. I miss you too. Hopefully soon life will give me a small hiatus so I may finish one of the many posts sitting in my "work in process" file.... or perhaps I'll find time to draft the new ideas ruminating in my over-fed psyche (Umami Burger!!!!!). Then once again you can take joy in finiding my spelling errors and scolding me for having an opinion.  Till then.

Ciao Fuckers. 

STALE MINTS | An Open Letter to the West End Grill

Quick... Your spouse just got a promotion and you need to celebrate. Where do you go? Even bigger, it’s a milestone anniversary. Graduation. The Rabbit done died…and it’s finally a good thing! In the mid 90’s your answer should definitively have been West End Grill every time. I have fond memories of special occasions at the West End Grill.

Alas, time stops for no one. A lot has changed since the 90s. Y2K came and went. We said goodbye to Bo and endured the Rodriguez episode. We elected a black man president. The only constant is change.

As food in Ann Arbor is concerned, the changes have been equally monumental. Chef’s have become prime-time celebrities. Metzger’s moved to the country and Main Street became a gastronomic catwalk.  We now have boutiques for sausage (Biecamp rocks!) and sushi at Kroger.

With so many new dining options and a lack of family milestones, I unintentionally let eight years go by without a trip to the West End. Then I started researching fish tacos in Ann Arbor. A friend was quick to remind me about the West End Grill Appetizer. I hadn’t had it. What a great excuse to visit West End. Time has clouded my memory and I’ve lost the ability to speak with authority on their menu. Besides, it’s been years. Surely it’s changed, right? There must be new treats to find. I was anxious and exited. Within a few weeks I found two occasions to visit the Grill.

Good News / Bad News

For those of you who fell in love with the West End Grill of the 1990s fear not, NOTHING has changed. And they continue to be one of the highest Zagat scoring restaurants in Southeast Michigan. Unfortunately it’s 2012 and now Wendy’s Old Fashioned Hamburgers is Zagat Rated. Zagat no longer carries any weight (you’re dead to me Zagat!).

A mentor once told me that if you’re not growing you’re dying. There is no pause. The West End Grill has been tragically stuck on Pause. I was genuinely sad at how irrelevant it now feels. Yes, there were highlights, but the combined experience was no longer flawless – absolutely not top shelf. 

Analogy: Marriott

I expect my opinion to draw some debate. In a moment I’ll substantiate my position with painful, at times snarky detail. Before I do however, consider this…

I have a love-hate relationship with Marriott Hotels. Growing up, Marriott was the benchmark of quality. I’m a rewards member and when I travel I commonly find myself picking a Marriott. I know they’ll be conveniently located and suitably appointed.  But increasingly, I’m frustrated with the experience. I find the décor dated, service uninspired, surely a result of exploiting captive business travelers, and the dining ‘Sysco-Chic.’ In most instances I end up jealous in knowing all the cool kids are a block away at the W or some other fabulous abode.  To finish this analogy I’ll remind you that Dick Devos had a hand in building the new JW Marriott in Grand Rapids. Need I say more? My latest visits to West End Grill felt like dining at a Marriott.

Enough with the pre-amble; here’s a run down of my experiences.

What, or who, still works

Servers   I want to start by paying tribute to the most notable West End strength. Before you become jilted by the content that follows, know that he service at West End Grill is impeccable. The staff is charming, knowledgeable and skilled. In the sport of serving, this crew is a perennially ranked franchisee like the Yankees or the Red Wings. I was impressed by their ability to anticipate need, maintain swiftly still relaxed tempo and engage without airs. Bravo. Clearly this is a significant justification for West End maintaining their reputation of excellence.

Author’s Note on service: The West End Grill still uses large service trays to deliver food. This is an antiquated practice. It’s damaging to server’s wrist and the tray stands take up too much dining room space. Many restaurants have done away with the tray. Consider following suit.

The Bar     First let me say that any bar proudly displaying a bottle of the Prisoner, A stunning red blend from vintner Orwin-Swift in Rutherford, CA, is a wonderful place indeed. I might go so far as to say sitting at the bar has become the best way to experience the West End Grill. The wine list is thoughtful. The cocktails are made with skill. My only regret is that their clientele does not support a beer tap. Get over it world – beer is the new wine. I will no longer feel uncouth when ordering it. Thankfully West End makes up for a lack of draught by offering a respectable number of craft beers.

ROOM for Opportunity

Let’s talk about the dining room. On the surface, this is one of the most intimate and charming spaces in Ann Arbor. The signature bead-board booths create private separation without isolation. To this day being at the West End Grill reminds me of a posh San Francisco neighborhood bistro. Yet somehow, when I entered the space for the first time in years I couldn’t help but feel let down. I spent my entire first drink studying the room. Finally I came to my conclusion…(warning – SNARK ALERT) this is where Laura Ashley came to die.

Conceptually the room is marvelous. In execution there are three things that must be changed to render the space contemporary.  For starters, look down. The green carpet is straight out of a golf course pro-shop. Given half the room’s guests just finished 18 holes that may be appropriate.  To me, it symbolizes 1980 and Brooks Brother’s. As you move up the walls your eyes eventually land on walls that mimic’s the carpet; preppy and dated. The Planters feel as classy as an Applebees. Finally, in what is clearly the room’s centerpiece, notice the lighting. West End is home to Ann Arbor’s largest collection of Tiffany lampshades.  Nothing says Grandma’s house like Tiffany. Truthfully, when paired with a better choice of flooring and stripped walls the lights may prove interesting. Not today. These are relatively easy issues to remedy.

One last note on the room…the bar and dining areas are separated by a half-wall. The only opening is a narrow stretch at the last bar stool. It creates a bottleneck of traffic. One might consider an alternative for that wall.

Menu

To an outsider, I would describe the West End Grill menu as continental fare heavy in beef and fish with a strong nod to French technique. You can google the menu for reference. I had memories of chalkboards listing daily specials and hoped my trip would bring surprising and delightful specials. Instead I was handed a bourgeois printed menu.  Here’s the first thing I read…

 “ALL OF OUR ENTREES ARE SERVED WITH GARDEN VEGETABLES, BEIGNET ROLLS AND YOUR CHOICE OF SOUP OR SALAD.”

Really? REALLY!?  [Imagine SNL Weekend Update with Seth Meyers]   Is your entire clientele a bunch of blue-hair Betties? That’s the most out of touch sentence I’ve read on a menu in two years. For the record, the sentence that gave me fits two years ago was, “Consuming raw or undercooked meat, poultry or seafood may increase your risk of food borne illness. All of our hamburgers are cooked to medium-well.”

OK, now that I’ve released the snark-valve let me speak more maturely about the menu. It is my assertion that the West End Grill’s menu is entirely obsolete, outdated and tired. 

Appetizers     Earlier I made note of the Fish Taco. Here’s my problem, flour tortilla. The halibut was tremendous, but its delicate flavor was eradicated by the ‘white-bread’ of tortillas.  On a second visit I tried the Grilled Portabella. It was a clumsy mess. Honestly, it was sloppily covered with an equally large slab of roasted red pepper, over cooked eggplant and a slathering of goat cheese. There was no balance of texture or flavor.

Entree      The entrees served were absolutely fine. Frankly, at a restaurant of this caliber, fine is unacceptable. It’s difficult to go wrong with a petite filet, still the maitre’ d butter served atop the filet was dangerously close to over-portioned and overpowering. That said, I was fond of the accompanying parmesan-truffle French fries.  Seafood is clearly the house penchant. The Sea Bass felt overly safe served in a ubiquitous soy and ginger interpretation. The menu was cluttered with equally average beef and fish options. 

Side note: While I no longer believe serving bread is in fashion, I will give a nod to West End’s signature beignets. They are light, rich and lustful. A highpoint of the meal.

Dessert    I can’t speak to dessert. I skipped out. By that point I really couldn’t stand the idea of another let down. No doubt, had I stayed, all-too familiar options would have been paraded out on a silver tray, a schmaltzy tactic older than the wooden chest of tea bags.

The final Straw

A year ago I wrote a less than favorable review of the Raven’s Club. It haunted me for weeks. While I stand by every word I wrote, it felt harsh – perhaps too blunt. After that piece I resolved to abstain from writing about restaurants that don’t thrill me. Therein lies the challenge. West End Grill DOES thrill me. It holds a special cache cachet that should not be abused or discarded.  I want to LOVE the West End Grill.

As I left the West End on my second, opinion-confirming visit I had resigned to keep my notes to myself. I’d exclude WEG from my Fish Taco piece and move on. I paid the tab and got up to leave. Then as my wife stopped to put on her jacket I noticed a bowl of matchstick boxes sitting by the door. I have no use for matches anymore. Still I love collecting them. What a treat. It was a small gesture providing momentarily relief from the night’s disappointment. 

Now imagine my mood when I realized the boxes did NOT contain matches. When opened I found stale, cheap pastel mint-chocolates. Honestly, I know this sounds ridiculous, but I was actually offended. The West End Grill, an institution of excellence, has been reduced to mints I might expect to find at the counter of the Cloverleaf.  It was such a gross error in judgment that I actually got mad. I lost all concern over writing this piece.

So Long, Farewell, I bid to you Ado Adieu

In closing, please know I love you. I have very fond memories of special events celebrated at the West End Grill. I’d like to have more. I believe I can. But some things need to change. Consider yourself an old Cadillac. Well crafted. Perhaps you could make it another 10 years. Crowds seem adequate. You could probably leverage that for a spell, then close quietly and retire debt free. OR – perhaps you could ditch the DeVille and become a CTS. Instead of coasting you could invest and solidify your legacy.  We all change with age. Why don’t you? 

DOG GONE IT

I was born helplessly hetero still I love wieners. Err, that is hot dogs.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: QUICK BITES    For the past few weeks a pesky little day job and a pesky little daughter have kept GastroBoy pretty busy. My dining habit has been severely restricted. Conversely, I’ve spent an increasing amount of time grabbing quick meals on the run – which lead me to this week’s topic – Hot Dogs! Enjoy.

CHRISTENING    Like most American’s raised in the second half of the twentieth century, I grew up on hot dogs. It’s a fairly economical protein source and my parents took full advantage. It’s also tremendously versatile. Over the years my mother explored the bounds of tolerance, initially mixing hot dogs with Kraft mac and cheese until famously they found their way into her lentil soup. When we camped we had hot dogs. When we had neighborhood barbeques we had hot dogs. When we went to Michigan and Trumball, Hot Dogs. Most common bridge club appetizer: you guessed it, cocktail franks simmering in a fondue pot. I’ve eaten a hell of a lot of Hot Dogs. And speaking of Hot Dogs in the 70’s, who can forget Bobby Brady in the Grand Canyon, sticking his beans-and-franks in a flashlight? Tell me that wasn’t a metaphor.

For the Love of DOG!    While I’d consumed and appreciated hot dogs my entire life it wasn’t until I spent a semester in the hole that I found the true ‘Spirit of the Dog!’ No, not prison. In one of my many part-time gigs as an under-grad I spent a semester slinging dogs at Top Dog Underground, a now defunct basement dive in East Lansing. The place was so grungy that we kept a Taser behind the counter to manage drunks. True story. It was an infectiously exuberant environment and somewhere between cases of relish and bricks of frozen chili I fell in love with Hot Dog Culture.

Hot Dogs encourage primal lust. There may be many reasons.  I’ve developed my own theory. For one, hot dogs are personal. You rarely share a hotdog. It’s en entirely selfish pursuit. Next, consider the sport of condiments. Not only is it a personal feast, we’re encouraged to smother said dog with our own unique choice of toppings. It’s simultaneously the perfect act of self-expression and self-indulgence. And that’s before we even acknowledge pink elephant in to room, its phallic shape.  But once again I digress.

It takes minimal consciousness to observe the fervent ‘dog-culture’ alive in America.  From Madison Avenue to Yakima and everywhere in between hot dogs are used as a metaphor for Americana and individualism.  On a pedestrian level I could argue that hot dogs are like pizza – there’s no such thing a bad. But GastroBoy is far from pedestrian. We both know that there are clear attributes that set some Hot Dogs, and to that point – pizzas, apart. Let’s explore some of the primary wiener distinctions.

WHERE’S THE BEEF? Beef vs. Pork (vs. Chicken & Turkey)    There’s a lot of debate in the dog world over whether all-beef franks are superior to beef-pork blends. Here’s my take; pig makes everything better. Historically, the original frankfurters of German decent were pork-beef blends.  That said there are plenty of fabulous all-beef options. In my house, as a nod to my kosher in-laws, the house frank is an all-beef, reduced fat Hebrew National. If you pick-up a package of franks that lists chicken or turkey, drop and run.

SNAPPY CASUAL [Skin, or casing, vs. No-Skin]     Here’s the real debate.  My dad grew-up with Chicago Vienna’s, encased in a “snappy” casing of lamb intestines. There’s nothing like it. My mother was brought-up on Hygrade (now Ballpark) skinless dogs. Each camp has a strong preference. I prefer he snap. Both are fine. As a note, if you too like the snap, support Michigan and buy Koegels, still housed on Bristol Road in Flint. Make a movie about that Michael Moore!

STEAMED, BOILED, GRILLED or FRIED    How do you cook hot dogs? I dare say there’s no wrong answer – unless it’s on a dogeroo roller at 7-11. Most aficionados will demand they be steamed. That’s a nice result. Grilling shouldn’t be discounted. It’s a very different dog, but you can’t beat the crunch. When I was a wee pup I spent my summers working for the man as a caddy. The cook at our halfway shack slit hot dogs lengthwise and fried them on a griddle. At the same time she laid the bun out on the grill to toast. That was god eatn’.

ray's Red HotsTHE BUN    This is the least exciting part of the dog experience. All buns are some form of high-gluten white bread. In recent years we’ve seen a host of nouveau iterations from Challah to Brioche to Pretzel. In most of the later cases the bun becomes too bready when paired with a frank. Stick to the basics. Perhaps the only real debate is top-load vs. side-cut. I would argue that the top-load versions don’t open wide enough, forcing the frank and condiments to sit on top, creating an uneven bite ratio. And anytime you can toast the bun you’re taking the experience up a notch.

CONDIMENTS    The old-school basics are fairly pedestrian, ketchup, mustard, relish or onions. In most cases the quality of the condiments are far inferior to the dog and become distracting. I would challenge you to up your game. I was recently at a restaurant in Washington, DC that had five house-made ketchups. That rocks. A watery blend of tomato paste and high-fructose corn syrup does not.

REGIONAL STYLE GUIDE    Everything we’ve discussed thus far is universal within the world of dogs. For the more experimental dog lover there’s another level. Predominantly regional in style, fine folks across the nation have taken their dog lust to new heights by creating entire categories of hot dog meals. There are many such species.  It would be prohibitive to mention them all. Here are few of my favorites.

Coneys: Coney Island may be in New York, but the capital of Coney is Detroit. Smothered in Chili, Cheese and onions – it’s signature Motown. Everyone argues Lafayette vs. American…I personally prefer National (multiple locations throughout Detroit).

Chicago Dogs: There’s limited consensus on it’s origin, but here’s the build…a poppy-seed bun, an all-beef Vienna dog, yellow mustard, onions, relish, a dill pickle spear, tomato slices, pickled peppers and a shake of celery salt. It’s a major feast of a dog. Depending on who’s making it you may struggle to get the whole thing in your mouth. You’ll be glad when you do.

Carolina Dogs: You’ll see this favorite offered with and without chili, but in all cases the key ingredient is coleslaw. While interesting, I find it to be like most things Carolina, nowhere near as good as the locals think it is. Still, it’s charming, and a reminder that regional flavor persisits.

Seattle Mariner’s / Ivar’s Fish Dog:  Technically this one isn’t a dog, but since kayaking up to my first Ivars in Lake Union I’ve been enamored with this Northwest fisherman’s family restaurant group. Baseball fans at Safeco Field get a breaded filet of (Code?) covered in slaw and tartar sauce served on a Hot Dog Bun. It’s pretty darn inspired. 

ANN ARBOR DOGS

Le Dog (AKA La Soup)    It’s a funny thing, while its part of the name, I NEVER think of Hot Dogs when I consider Le Dog. Don’t take me wrong – it’s not that the dogs are deficient, quite the contrary. Its simply a testament to their soup. Epic. Someday I’ll dedicate an entire post the splendor of La Soup. Not today.

Le Dog wins the title for biggest wiener. If this were a locker room I’d be intimidated. It’s the rare instance where the frank matches or exceeds the bun in mass. And when you’re that big and tasty you don’t need any fancy accouterments. For the technically curious, Le Dog is a skinless pork-beef frank. Both the simple white-bread bun and the dog are steamed. With two locations to serve downtown, Le Dog is an easy win for townie food on the run.

Ray’s Red Hots    In a recent post about Zingerman’s I waxed poetic about visiting the Deli as an adolescent. There’s another Ann Arbor restaurant that amazed the juvenile GastrBoy. Red Hot Lovers.  Today the business is captained by new owners and goes by the name Ray’s Red Hots, but the magic remains. This place is a ‘joint” in the truest sense.  The booths alone inspire; they’re older than Justin Bieber’s mom. The dog slinger’s engage and entertain while they keep up pace. And for those who aren’t talkative, sit back and listen. The stereo remains one of the few places in town were Bob Marley follows the Dead Milkmen.

Frankly (excuse the pun), I’d be thrilled to hang here even if the food was no good. Ray’s is a text-book Vienna joint, all-beef snappy dogs with steamed poppy seed buns. They offer a full array of topping options highlighting chili cheese and Chicago style. Perhaps even more exciting than the dogs are Ray’s house cut waffle fries and chips – available in a series of flavors. I’m crazy for the vinegar and sea salt. You can also catch Ray each summer at Top-Of-The-Park.

Chicago Red’s (inside Amer’s)    I’ve got little to say. Kuddos to Amer for dedicating eight feet of counter space to Hot Dogs. Beyond that, the dogs are darn near identical to Rays. The frozen French fries suck and the space has little more charm that Briarwood Mall. Sorry pal.  Luckily that killer location will keep you in the green for as long as you wish.

Dad’s Dogs (Cart)    This post wouldn’t be complete without a shout-out to Dad’s Dogs. Yes, Ann Arbor is a quaint Midwest hamlet, but don’t be fooled – there’s an urbane existence to be had. To that end, Dad’s is a perfect dog cart. Lately you can find him slinging all-beef skinless dogs on the corner of Main and Huron. For updates follow him on Twitter at @dadsdogs1.

HONORABLE MENTION    There are few additional stops on the Ann Arbor dog tour worth noting…

Dexter A&W Root Beer    First of all, I know….the food sucks. Agreed. Still, this is one of those rare places where food serves as a pale excuse to partake in the better more central pleasure, car-side service and Frosty Root Beer. I remember going to an A&W for root beer floats after little league games. Yes, I’m that Americana. When you’re out west (Dexter) make time for a stop. Aside from the food, you won’t be disappointed.

Zingerman’s Roadhouse Corn Dogs    While we’re on the topic of dogs I need to give a shout-out to Chef Alex and the Zingerman’s corn dogs. These dreamy franks are drenched in an organic cornmeal, deep-fried to perfection and served with three brilliant mustards.  On more than one occasion I’ve made a meal out the appetizer portion. Let’s face it, who doesn’t love meat on a stick?

Stevie G’s Hot Dog on a Stick    Speaking on meat on a stick, my final shout-out goes to an Ann Arbor buddy who introduced me to an amazingly clever parent trick. We’ve all been there…you’re busy, maybe even on your way out the door and the kid is hungry. You don’t have the time nor the inclination to cook. What to do? Grab a chop-stick, plunge it into a hot dog and voila! Hot Dog on a stick. My wife thinks it’s ridiculous. The kid thinks it’s the coolest thing since pop rocks. Dads rules! Thanks Stevie!

ROAD DOGS    So there you have it; my meditation on hot dogs and the local slingers who make us proud. I’m in the process of collecting a list of epic Hot Dog joints thought the US. Here’s what I have thus far. If you know of another hit comment and share. Ciao!

• Yesterdog – Grand Rapids, MI (claim to fame: used as filming site for American Pie)
• I Dream of Wennie - Nashille, TN (claim to fame: serving dogs out of a VW Bus)
• The Varsity – Atlanta, GA (Claim to fame: many)
• Pinks Hot Dogs – Hollywood, CA (claim to fame: many)
• Nathan’s – Coney Island, NY (claim to fame: Kobayashi)
• Hot Doug’s – Chicago, IL (claim to fame: Doug)
• Ben’s Chili Bowl – Washington, DC (claim to fame: Obama visit)

FISH TACOS

Get your head out of the gutter….at least for now. Callow readers scroll to the end.

The Sunshine State    As you may have gathered, GastroBoy spends a fair amount of time on the road. And while travel can at times be romantic, there’s nothing dreamy about flying coach to Oaklahoma City, Davenport, Iowa or Hutchinson, Kansas – all cities I’ve been to in recent history at the bequest of my day job. Author’s note: all of the afore mentioned cities are inhabited by wonderful people – gastronomically deprived, but wonderful.

In a stroke of luck I’ve found repeated reason to be in Southern California.  Yes, it’s a concrete jungle full of traffic and Botox, but it’s also has beautiful, coastal sun and well bred eatn'. To make you even more jealous, I’ll tell you that the majority of my trips (plural!) have occurred in winter months – allowing me to bask in the glory of Pacific opulence while you shiver through ice-scrapping morning commutes. Do I have your attention?

Work Hard, Play Hard    On most of my trips west I’ve met-up with a teammate who calls Denver home.  Let’s call him Rocky Mountain Joe. Joe works the PCH day-in and day-out. He knows the scene. I’m the cleaner. I fly-out as needed, when there’s issues or complicated deals to resolve. 

The first time Joe and I worked SoCal together he introduced me to the fish taco diet. As a rule of thumb, Joe orders fish taco everywhere he goes. If it’s on the menu he orders. It’s a gimmick of sorts; a way for this rugged motor-cross riding mountain man to get into the Baja spirit. 

Now here’s where it get’s interesting. I’ve come to realize that all of Joe’s accounts are within a twenty-minute ride to the beach. From Laguna to Santa Monica to Malibu to Ventura, my man Joe has masterfully crafted a client-base that puts us oceanside by 5:00 PM every single day. Not only do we eat fish tacos, we pretend to haggle over spreadsheets while drinking long-board ales and soaking in the sunset. I absolutely love it.  The first time was novel. The second was fun. Now it’s a moral imperative. Even in Ann Arbor, a fish taco conjures images of waves breaking on the beach and blissed-out Californians walking their dogs on the hard sand.

The recent crush of warm weather brought on a serious case of fish tacos. I thought I’d share the love.

Fish Tacos    For those of you who never graduated from the Ortega school of beef tacos, let me enlighten you. A fish Taco is an entirely different beast. The prior is assembled by shoveling reconstituted manwich meat into a crunchy taco shell and then layering on scraps from the salad bar. The quintessential fish taco combines freshly grilled or sautéed fish with cool, zesty vegetables. There’s no glob of sour cream or processed cheddar. A good fish taco is served on soft white corn tortillas and topped with cilantro and a side of lime. It’s a sunshine sandwich.

photo by tickle me [fish] tacoThankfully, you don’t have to fly to California to have a good fish taco. The culinary world has caught on and now it’s fairly easy, and stylish, to join the Baja nation. Still, like all good food, not all fish tacos are created equally. Here’s my basic advice on how to detect an imposter and where to find the real deal right here in Ann Arbor.

The Fish    This is where I find the most deviation.  Even in SoCal the fish varies, but all agree it should be a flaky white fish, most commonly Cod or Mahi Mahi. Rare Ahi is darn tasty, but it’s a sure sign the maker prefers James Beard to Laird Hamilton. It’s also becoming fairly commonplace to see shrimp tacos. 

The Veg    Here in lies another fairly wide spectrum. Most fish taco veggies fall into two camps, onions (ideally marinated) or some version of cabbage-based slaw. The goal is to contrast the tender warmth of your fish with a cool and crispy bite.  While Rick Bayles can surely tell us what is regionally appropriate, I tend to see more onions in street food versions and the slaw interpretation at sit-down joints. Tangentially, I’m a big fan of jicama-slaw. In either case, Cilantro and lime is a must.  The acidity of the lime combined with the bite of cilantro is enough to see waves no matter your current vista.  If your fish taco is covered in shredded iceberg send it back. 

Tortillas    Wanna hear a funny…for two days in 1990 I worked at Chi-Chi's. Coincidentally it was a St. Patrick’s Day hangover that terminated that relationship, but I digress.  For those two days, my job was to stand over the fryer forming thawed corn tortillas into hard chips and shells. I assumed corn tortillas had to be served rigid.  Rest in Peace señor Chi-Chi.

The key here is corn. I’ve tried a fish taco on wheat tortilla and it falls dramatically short. I’ll also save you the gringo embarrassment of asking for yourself and explain that most soft tacos are served with two tortillas to prevent the delicate corn shell from tearing. You’re welcome.

Sabor LatinoFish Tacos in Ann Arbor    I grew-up with the axiom, “If you can’t see the water, don’t eat the fish.” Living in the rustbelt one may even flip the term and postulate, “If you’ve seen the water, order the beef.”  Thankfully we live in the 21^st century and the world’s fisheries have refrigerated transport. From Sushi to Lobsters and everything in between, Ann Arbor’s fishmongers have a rich supply of water species.  Here’s a few places to explore when the Baja spirit comes ’a knockin’. 

Monahan’s     Speaking of fishmongers…I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news…First the good, every Monday is Fish Taco day at Monahan’s. Now the bad, Monday is also back-to-back meeting day for GastroBoy so I’ve never made a Monday trip to Kerrytown to sampled the goods.  That said, it would be irresponsible to talk about fish in Ann Arbor without leading with Monahans. If their tacos are half as good as anything else on their menu Monahan’s is definitely in contention for best Fish Taco’s in Ann Arbor. And they’re darn good folks. Please shop Monahan’s for any and all fish.

Sabor Latino    Two blocks north is Ann Arbor’s favorite Mexican haunt, Sabor Latino.  If your Monday is like mine, you can drown your sorrow’s of missing Monahan’s Fish Tacos with Sabor’s Taco Tuesday.  And by drown I mean drink – this is the first on my list to include cerveza with that Taco. For $2.50 a crack ($1 on Tuesdays!) you can order your fill of dense fish and onions served with a healthy blanket of cilantro and lime. Unfortunately the menu does not disclose, and my last server did not know the fish breed. If you can’t have a beer with your Tacos may I suggest the Horchata.

Black PearlBlack Pearl    Is it a bar, is it a restaurant? Is that chick really with THAT guy? Yes, yes and YES.  When you enter this pleasuredome sigh easy and let the rattan-paddle fans whisk away your inhibitions.  The Black Pearl fans are quick to note the fish tacos. These guys are stylistically the polar opposite from Sabor Latina. Here you’ll get a delicate tilapia, a brite cabbage-slaw and chipotle mayo (say what?).  Nothing about Black Pearl is traditional – and that’s ok. While you’re there, try a cocktail.  I suggest a Kentucky Livorno. Or - if you're in a Wine State of Mind, have sommelier @MDSmitty2488 find the right pairing. 

Café Habana    It pains me to write about fish tacos while Habana is on sabbatical. We can take solace knowing that when the Carlson-Lobdell fellas re-open Habana later this year they’re sure to create an instant landmark.  And you can be sure that the first thing I order at the new Habana (beyond a Caiprihania) is Fish Tacos. Grilled Ahi with jicama slaw, avocado and lime crema. It’s a home run.

 That’s it – my Ann Arbor tribute to the fish taco. Yes, there are other local menus that list fish tacos. I've tried a few. These are my picks. See for yourself. Go out and enjoy. And after you take your first bite, close your eyes and listen to the tide roll in.

BONUS SNARK ROUND   

WARNING: This section is sure to offend the well-mannered or faint of heart. If you resemble either of the aforementioned demographics please click-away now. Really. I mean it. I warned you...

Perhaps you’re familiar with the juvenile-male colloquial use of the term ‘Fish Taco’. It mean’s vagina. In high school I knew some guys who took it a click further by naming their band ‘Vertical Pink Fish,’ a Spinal Tap reference. But I digress.

I’ve tried desperately to ignore that 13-year-old devil on my shoulder and remain mature throughout the entirety of this post. But then, for sport, I searched ‘fish Taco Detroit’ and learned that Hooters serves fish tacos…Hooters! I’m human, right? Every man has a limit.  I had to indulge my inner adolecent. 

To that end, I’ve decided to share the fun and invite all of you to post your best Hooters-related fish-Taco Pun. Click the comment button below and let loose. If you’re shy, know that the comment section allows for ‘anonymous’ entries. If you’re brave enough to include your twitter handle I promise to Tweet the best response next week. For inspiration I’m listing my initial thoughts below. No duplicates please. Enjoy. 

• now Hooters sells kooters…
• Finally, a dish that matches the scented candles
• [tartar sauce joke removed becuase even I blushed]